Losing You
by TheWolfyReality
Summary: A Riain (Rita/Iain) fanfiction, they've been dating for 4 months, when Rita's pregnant and there's a crash, will Iain be able to show Rita that he truly does care, or will Rita think that he just wont be able to handle and chooses a different plan, read to find out. Rated T, bar 1 chapter which will be M, fully warned at the beginning you can just skip over it.
1. Chapter 1

_**Authors Note: Hope you Enjoy Chapter 1 of my new fic, I have rated this fic T because it is really, but there will be 1 chapter labelled M, which you can simply just skip over, because there is no plot in it what so ever.**_

Their relationship was; well it wasn't perfect by far, Rita was happy, for once she actually agreed with a decision she had made in her life other than becoming a nurse. They had both decided that instead of moving in one of their apartments, they bought out a two bedroomed en-suit studio, which had luckily only been a short drive from the hospital, and a 5 minute walk to the pub, which the staff in the ED spent every Friday night.

Rita groaned, as she rolled over, her head spinning and feeling sick, she rushed out of bed and only made it to the bathroom just in time. Iain wasn't a particularly heavy sleeper, and being only half asleep at the time, woke up with a look of concern across his face.

"Babe you ok?" he asked sitting up in bed and glancing quickly at the clock to read "4:48am", both of their shifts starting at 8am.

"Yeah, I'm fine, probably caught Dixie's flew bug, go back to sleep," she replied tiredly.

Iain rubbed his eyes, and stretched his arms, knowing there was no way in hell that he was going to get back to sleep. He rushed to help her as she began throwing up again.

After she had hopefully finished, she lay back against him where they were now sat on the bathroom floor.

"Feeling any better?" he asked hoping that she was.

"Yeah," she replied relaxing against his strong figure.

"Maybe you shouldn't go into work today?" he suggested, feeling sorry for her.

"I'll be fine, what time is it?" she asked worried about being late.

"Not even five o clock, let's go back to bed for another good hour," he replied heaving himself up off the floor, and helping her rise to his feet.

She tripped on the way, which only brought a whole new wave of protectiveness from Iain as he helped her get to bed. She lay with her back against his chest as he ran his hands through her hair.

"Are you sure you should go into work today?" asked Iain hoping to convince her against it.

"Yes, Iain please just drop the work thing, I'll be fine, and anyway, Zoe needs my help with paperwork today, so I'll most likely be sat in office for at least half the day," she replied.

Resting her head against her pillow, she silently drifted off into a sleeping abyss of nothingness.

An hour and a half later Iain woke up. He considered not waking her up, telling himself that it will be a good thing If she doesn't go into work today, she's obviously ill, but then he realised it would only cause more trouble, and she wouldn't speak to him or they'd start a massive row, just like the last time. So with his mind made up he gently shook her. She groaned in her sleep. Planting a gentle kiss to her cheek he shook her again.

"Reets wake up, we have work, if you still want to go?" he asked hoping she'd give in to sleep and change her mind.

"Yes I still want to go, don't try that one, as tempting as lying her all day is," she replied sternly as she sat up.

"Ok, ok, my bad, I'm going to take a shower," Iain replied jumping up and grabbing his work clothes from the pile of neatly folded clothes on the chest of drawers.

When Iain stepped out of the bathroom, his hair wild, and smelling of aftershave Rita snorted.

"What?" he asked utterly confused.

"Your hair babe, and your collar," she replied as she darted past him to nick the bathroom.

"Oi, I haven't finished," he replied running a hand through his forgotten hair.

"Well you'll have to wait until I have," she replied grinning to herself as she turned the shower on.

He sighed before heading towards the kitchen to make coffee. It was 10 past 7, so Iain decided to watch part of the news, with a cup of coffee in hand.

A few minutes later Rita joined him on the sofa, sneaking a drink from his coffee when she didn't think that he was looking.

"Oi, thief, yours is on the counter," he replied grinning widely at her.

"Oh, thanks," replied Rita as she stood up to grab the coffee.

A few moments later:

"Hmm, I have a bad feeling about this week," replied Iain out of the middle of nowhere.

"You always have bad feelings, Iain, but I'm sure nothing bad will happen today, or any other day of the week in fact," replied Rita laughing as she sat back down next to him with her breakfast.

"No I don't, but yeah, I hope your right," replied Iain.

1 Hour Later: Holby ED

"Rita! Iain!" called Max as he flew across the reception towards them.

"Yeah Max?" asked Rita confused at his sudden outburst.

"You're both coming to the pub tonight right?" he asked obviously excited about something.

"Yeah, why?" asked Iain answering for his girlfriend.

"Because were doing truth or dare, never have I ever, and Seven Secrets," replied Max as Lofty and Bic Mac reached them.

Rita groaned in disgust, while Iain just laughed at the thought of ridiculous teenage, university games. But truth out, he was actually looking forward to it.

"What were you saying about a bad feeling about today?" asked Rita scowling.

Iain scoffed as he cracked up in laughter.

"I did warn you about coming in today," he replied before kissing her gently on the lips and waltzing out the room towards where Dixie was stood, thinking about the best questions to ask people later.

All day everyone had been discussing the games tonight, people laughing and teasing that they had the best most embarrassing questions to ask people.

Rita was with Zoe, going through their fourth set of paperwork when she got the dizziness again, quickly excusing herself and rushing for the bathrooms as she threw up once again.

"Rita are you ok?" asked Zoe as Rita came out the cubicle.

"Yeah I'm fine; just keep getting dizzy and these horrible cramps," replied Rita.

"And vomiting?" questioned Zoe worried for her friend.

"Yeah," Rita replied, before flashing a confused look as a wave of concern crossed Zoe's face.

"What?" Rita asked confused as to what her friend was going to say.

 ** _Authors Note: Hope You enjoyed it, new chapter up soon, post any suggestions or complaints in a review, thank you._**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Authors Note:_** **** ** _Here's chapter two, hope you enjoy, please read and review._**

 ** _Chapter Two:_**

"Rita is there a chance, that you… could perhaps be pregnant?" asked Zoe gently.

"WHAT… NO… I mean…" stumbled Rita. "I don't know," she continued.

"Hey, hey, calm down, ok," replied Zoe as she tried to calm her friend down.

"I honestly don't know," replied Rita.

"So you don't use protection?" asked Zoe hoping her friend would trust her to know these things.

"Well, we've not exactly been careful, we could have been more careful put it that way," replied Rita trying to think.

"So you could be pregnant," replied Zoe.

"Yeah, I guess, but…" started Rita before stopping and beginning to panic.

"But what?" asked Zoe, knowing exactly what her friend was about to say.

"Iain, I don't know how he'll react, I… he…" faltered Rita trying to think of what to do.

"Look Rita, if I know Iain, he'll want to support you, first let's find out if you are pregnant, and then we can figure out what you're going to do," replied Zoe.

Rita nodded in response, she had never really thought about having kids and a family. She had never really thought about having a long term boyfriend either.

"Look, we can always ask Dixie what she thinks?" suggested Zoe not realising the woman in question was stood right behind her.

"Ask me what?" asked Dixie walking in carrying several files.

"You're early," stated Zoe trying to change the subject.

"Don't try that one Dr Hanna, ask me what?" asked Dixie intrigued now.

"Nothing, it's not for me to say anything," replied Zoe.

Dixie and Zoe turned to look at Rita.

"Is this about Iain? Because I promise you he's head over heels for you," replied Dixie thinking she knew exactly what Rita was going to ask her.

"Well that's nice to know, but that wasn't what I was going to ask, well not exactly anyway," replied Rita.

"Well… What were you going to say?" asked Dixie confused now.

"We think I might be pregnant," replied Rita.

"We as in you and Iain, or we as in you and Zoe?" asked Dixie knowing that it would most likely be the latter.

"Me and Zoe," replied Rita taking steady breaths.

"Ok and you want to ask me what exactly?" asked Dixie already having a pretty good guess at what this question will be.

"Well I don't know how he will react, or how to tell him," replied Rita looking to Zoe for support.

"Well personally I think you should wait until you know for sure, and then you need to tell him, the longer you leave it, well the worse it will be for you, having to keep it from him, and I doubt he will overreact, and well I could imagine him being the father type anyway, I'm sure you'll be fine," Dixie replied trying to relax her friend.

"Yeah I don't think he'll be mad at you Rita, what did you tell him about you throwing up this morning?" asked Zoe puzzled as to what her friend would have used as an excuse.

"That I had most likely caught Dixies bug," replied Rita sniggering.

"So you didn't lie," replied Dixie.

"Not exactly no, because I did actually think that I had," replied Rita her expression all serious.

"Look, both me and you finish early today, we can go and get you a test, while Dixie keeps Iain preoccupied?" suggested Zoe trying to think of something.

Rita just nodded in response.

3 Hours Later:

Rita was sat on the floor in her studio bathroom with Zoe waiting outside as patiently as she could.

3 Minutes, felt like 3 years, the longest 3 minutes of her life as Rita sat there anxiously.

Looking down at the pink plus that was glaring straight at her, Rita's breath hitched, as a sob reached her mouth.

"Rita? You ok?" asked Zoe worriedly?

With no response, Zoe's patience ran out.

"Rita I'm coming in," replied Zoe heading for the door.

Just as she reached it Rita walked out, with tear streaked eyes and a positive pregnancy test in her hand.

"Oh Rita," sighed Zoe as she hugged her friend.

"Just leave it for now please, were going to be late for the pub with everyone, and I can't deal with the questions right now," pleaded Rita.

Zoe nodded and having already gotten changed in her office, gave her friend some space to change herself.

A few minutes later, a silent car journey and a minute walk, the two women were at the pub.

They walked in and spotted everyone sat at one long table.

They both sat down in between Iain and Max, Iain handing Rita a glass of white wine. She gulped knowing she couldn't drink it, taking their coats off and putting their bags down.

"Hey," said Iain kissing her lightly on the cheek.

"Hey," she replied smiling weakly at him.

"Come with me ok?" Zoe whispered to Rita when Iain returned his attention to a joke Cal was telling.

"Ok I'm going to get a drink, Rita?" offered Zoe standing up.

"I'll come with you," replied Rita standing with her untouched glass in hand. Dixie noticed and sighed heavily, knowing the truth now.

They reached the bar, "White Grape Shloer,"… "In a wine glass please," she added.

Paying the barman, Rita picked the glass up, handing the white wine to Zoe. Looking down at the two glasses, there wasn't a big difference, not unless you were looking for one anyway.

The two returned to their seats just as everyone decided they'd play Truth or Dare.

"Ok who's starting?" asked Connie?

"Well let's start with Robyn seen as she's so keen, and then go, clockwise," replied Cal placing the Truth/Dare app on the table.

"Max, truth or dare?" asked Robyn?

"Truth," he replied watching Robyn press the truth button.

"Who in the room do you think would be a bad date?" read Robyn.

Max looked to be thinking. Before his eyes lit up as he came up with a response.

"Lily, because she scares the crap out of me," replied Max sending an apologetic look.

"Ouch Max," laughed Iain.

"Ok next, Zoe?" asked Cal?

"Connie, truth or dare?" asked Zoe?

"Truth,"

"Who in this room would be the worst to be trapped in an elevator with?" read Zoe?

"You, because you'd have a heart attack," laughed Connie.

"Ok Rita?" asked Cal?

"Dixie, truth or dare?" asked Rita?

"Ooh, I'll have a dare, I'm not boring like the rest of you," replied Dixie.

Rita tapped the dare selection, and read from it:

"For the next person, who is not a player that walks into the room give them a hug and refuse to let go," read Rita laughing.

Dixie scowled, but as the old barman walked into the room she did exactly what the dare was and the barman just scowled and claimed she wasn't a very good hugger. To which the entire table burst into laughter.

"Iain?" asked Cal?

"Cal, truth or dare?" asked Iain?

"Truth," he replied to which the audience groaned.

"Have you ever, wanted to kiss a co-worker?" Iain read from the app.

"Yes," replied Cal refusing to elaborate further.

A few hours later:

"Dixie your turn?" asked Cal.

"Iain, truth or dare, please don't be boring," she groaned.

"Dare then," he replied grumbling.

Eagerly pressing the app, everyone waited to see what she read out.

"Iain, Place both your hands in the player to your rights jeans pockets and keep them there for 15 minutes. You must each perform a dare before you are allowed to remove them, to do this you, can use any means possible, bar removing the clothing," read out Dixie.

"Yah what?" he asked utterly baffled in his northern accent.

"Basically mate, the player to your right, which is Rita, lucky it could be much worse, you've got to put your hands in her pockets for 15 minutes, and you've got to do another dare to get them out after 15 minutes," replied Cal.

"What? How do I do that? You can't seriously expect us both to stand up for 15minutes," replied Iain.

"Here's an example," snorted Dixie showing Iain the image on the screen.

"I'm not letting her squash me for 15minutes, no way," grumbled Iain.

"The forfeit is to pay everyone in the room £5 you still want to forfeit?" asked Cal eagerly.

"No," replied Iain grumbling.

"But what if the other player doesn't want too?" asked Connie?

"Then they pay the £5," replied Cal.

After rumbling and complaining for several minutes, Rita found herself sat on Iain's lap with his hands in her jeans pockets.

The dares went on and on.

"Stop wriggling around," whispered Iain into Rita's ear.

"Why don't you?" she snapped back.

"Because I'm not moving," he whispered back.

"Zoe, what was your first kiss like?" Robyn read of the app.

"Awkward," Iain heard Zoe start to reply before he became distracted with his girlfriend fidgeting around his lap.

Everyone was getting increasingly drunk, bar Iain who was unable to drink anything with his hands in her pockets. Zoe handing Rita another glass of whatever it was she was drinking. Iain leant forward while she wasn't looking and drank from her glass. Only to cough and splutter the other way, when he realised it wasn't wine.

"God, what is that," he spluttered.

"Serves you right from nicking my drink," Rita laughed, glad that he had commented on the non-alcoholic drink she was drinking.

2 more rounds passed, Iain was staring at the clock, 3, 2, 1, and he yanked his hands from her pockets and turfed her off, making her squeal in surprise.

"What was that for?" she snapped?

"You kept fidgeting and my times up, you can return to your chair now," he replied.

The entire table was laughing.

"Wait you've both got to do a dare now, to remove your hands," replied Cal suddenly.

Iain groaned.

"What is it?" asked Iain hoping it wouldn't be bad.

Tapping the button for current dares in process,

"Touch your nose with your tongue. If you are unable to do this you must touch another player's nose with your tongue," read Cal.

Iain looked ready to kill; he knew he couldn't touch his nose with his tongue. Looking to the clock it read 11:47pm. Almost midnight he could just go home.

"And no Iain, you can't just go home," laughed Dixie reading his thoughts.

He spent 11 minutes, with everyone laughing as he attempted to touch his nose with his tongue.

"Iain, just accept the fact you can't do it," replied Cal.

"I am not doing the other half so, no," replied Iain, still trying.

"£5 quid for everyone then please," replied Cal.

"What no. Fine I'm not paying you £5," replied Iain.

"So whose nose you going too touch with your tongue?" asked Cal?

"Wait," called Dixie.

"What?" asked Cal?

"It says Option 2," replied Dixie pointing to the screen,

"Oh, or you can…" started Cal pressing the link, "Make out with a player for 3 minutes," offered Cal.

Iain's eyebrows raised.

"Are you serious Cal?" asked Iain?

"Yeah," replied Cal.

"Well I'll make out with you for 3 minutes," teased Iain.

"WHAT NO," exclaimed Cal?

"That's not fair then, you owe everyone £5," replied Iain.

"Fine," replied Cal standing up.

"NO, I was joking, sit down," said a panic stricken Iain.

Rita was grinning head to toe.

"Well then, who will you snog for 3 minutes?" asked Cal.

"Fine," grumbled Iain as he turned to his girlfriend, he had literally just kissed her when Cal Called out:

"Ok enough, we don't want to see, were done," as the table burst into laughter, leaving Rita blushing and Iain shaking his head in embarrassment.

Connie was the first to leave, followed by Max and Zoe. Rita wanted to go home, but she wasn't sure if Iain wanted to yet.

She had stood to speak to Dixie over by the door when he walked over. Putting his arms round her waist he asked her if she wanted to go home.

"See yah tomorrow Dixie," they both called as the two walked out the pub.

 _ **Authors Note: Hope you enjoyed, please read and review, any suggestions or complaints, thank you**_


	3. Chapter 3 (M RATED)

**_Authors Note:_** **** ** _OK, WARNING THIS IS M, for sexual content, there is no plot from this what so ever, you can just skip this chapter if you wish, hope you enjoy._**

 ** _Chapter Three:_**

They had rounded the corner when suddenly Iain pushed her against the wall and kissed her, in the exact same way they did the first time, before pulling away, leaving her breathless as he lead her off towards their studio.

It was only moments after they arrived when he pushed her against the door; kissing her passionately as she melted against him, running her fingers through the short hair at the back of his head.

"I need you now," she gasped in between his kisses, he began kissing down her neck, sucking on her weak spot which hadn't taken him long to discover in the first place. She groaned again as he continued to move his way down her neck. She pulled at the hair at the back of his neck, in a feeble attempt to get his attention back.

"Iain, stop," she groaned half-heartedly, in response he kissed her firmly against the lips. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he rose to his full height. Knowing that as much as he wanted to, he just couldn't hold her against the wall forever he began heading towards the bedroom, kicking the door shut as he walked in.

He dropped her against the bed having already removed both their shoes on the way in; he slid over her, holding her down as he removed his shirt. She ran her fingers over his smoothly toned abs. Placing kisses over his battle scars that aligned his left side. He was red, she knew he was embarrassed by his scars, scared to show them, but she didn't care. He pulled at her short, shoulder length blonde hair, and she looked up confused.

In response he kissed her fiercely, pulling her blouse over her head in one swift movement he had unclasped her bra and had returned to kissing her passionately. Finished with the foreplay she went for the buttons on his jeans, while he went for her own. After shedding their clothes, Iain wasted no time, holding her hip still with his hands, kissing her firmly one last time, he pushed himself into her with one long, slow stroke. He watched her eyes roll back into her head, before releasing her hips and coming to rest on his forearms. She angled her hips to meet each one of his deliberate thrusts; she adjusted her body under him until he was rubbing all the right places with every stroke. He stopped and stayed still within her for a moment, giving them both a chance to catch their breaths, giving her a quick passionate kiss before he began rocking back and forth once again.

He watched as her head fell back, and her eyes rolled back into her head, before closing them completely. Her lips parted and he heard a small moan escape as he felt her body tense under him. Just the sight of her writhing in pure ecstasy was all he needed. His thrusts went from deliberate and controlled, to involuntary and erratic as he pushed deeper into her. Soon his moans joined her as he rode out his own orgasm, letting the pleasurable sensations take over his body. He fell heavily on top of her.

"You ok?" he asked as he rolled onto the bed next to her.

"Yeah," she replied.

He wrapped his arms around her, as they cuddled together, which was exactly how they woke, the following morning.

 _ **Authors Note:**_ __ _ **Ok, thank god the stress of writing that is finally over, I can say that there**_ _ **definitely**_ _ **will not be another chapter like that one, (M) for quite a while, well not all unless some of you fans would like to read another, I would also like to mention the fact that I am 15, have no experience what so ever in this topic at all, so well lets just say, I hope you enjoyed it.**_


	4. Chapter 4

**_Authors Note:_** **** ** _Hey Everyone! TheWolfyReality here! And were back again with CHAPTER FOUR! Hope you enjoy, please read and review._**

 ** _Chapter Four:_**  
Iain groaned when the alarm clock went off, "6:30AM" it read in flashing red digits.

"Reets," "Rita, wake up," he stated shaking her awake.

"Uh, its time already?" groaned Rita obviously tired.

"Well yeah, we didn't like go to sleep till like 1," replied Iain.

"Yeah I know," she replied rolling over to face him.

He kissed her gently, in which she responded just the same, he ran his hands through her hair, rolling on top of her.

"Not now," she replied although not really wanting too.

"Aww, babe," he moaned refusing to move off of her.

"Iain, I'm serious, I just want to get up please," she pleaded.

He sighed but moved off of her just the same.

He watched her as she walked into the bathroom, grabbing her work clothes on the way.

He sighed, rolling over in bed, before deciding he would use the other bathroom so that he could get to work on time today.

Both of them ready they headed for work, in Iain's car.

"See yah later," he replied as he walked off towards the ambulance station.

Rita, smiling walked into the ED, only to lose her smile when Zoe dragged her into her office.

"So?" asked Zoe waiting for her friend to reply to the unasked question.

"So what?" asked Rita confused?

"Did you tell him?" she asked.

"Well no, not exactly," replied Rita knowing her friend would go ballistic.

"You need to tell him Rita, he deserves to know, and the sooner the better," replied Zoe hoping that her friend would see sense.

"I know, I know, it just wasn't the right time, and I don't know how to tell him," replied Rita sighing.

"Tell him at the end of shift," replied Zoe.

"Ok, ok, I'll try, just not if he's in a bad mood," replied Rita hoping that he wouldn't be, because as much as she didn't want to tell him, she knew that she needed too.

There ED wasn't that busy today, there were no major injuries so for almost half of it, Rita and Zoe were once again doing paperwork.

Rita stared at the clock, having decided she would tell him over their lunch break, Zoe told her she's be close by just in case, even though Zoe knew full well she wouldn't be needed, it was just to reassure her friend.

Rita walked out the double glass doors to find Iain stood there on his phone on the opposite side of the road. He looked up just in time with a smile across his face as she crossed to him.

"Good morning?" he asked her?

"Paperwork, you?" asked Rita knowing he'd been out at least once.

"Two calls, neither too bad," he replied, pocketing his phone.

"Iain, I need to tell you something," she started.

"Ok, that sounds ominous, but go ahead," he replied.

"Promise me that you won't be mad, or overreact?" she pleaded with him.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked confused, he could see Zoe stood by the door over her shoulders, obviously watching them, but trying to make it look less obvious.

"I… I'm pregnant," she replied closing her eyes, prepared for his sudden outburst.

But she didn't get one; he just stood there frozen still, shocked.

"But if you don't want…" she continued thinking that he didn't want children.

But he still didn't reply, just frozen still, and shock faced, seemingly staring straight through her.

"I'll just go," she murmured backing into the road away from him.

"NO!" he suddenly shouted, running and shoving her out of the way, as the car sped full blast towards them, he didn't move in time.

"IAIN!" screamed Rita panicking. Zoe came running forward shocked, and worried for her now tearful friend.

The driver looked to be unconscious behind the wheel.

"Get help!" Zoe shouted to a porter who was just stood there shocked.

Ethan, Cal, Connie and Dixie appeared having heard shouts, and the crash.

"Oh my god, IAIN!" shouted Dixie running after seeing him obviously in front of the car, on the floor, lying in a pool of his own blood.

Rita was panicking, it was all her fault, if she hadn't have told him, or if she hadn't have backed away from him, he wouldn't have had to push her out the way; he saved her, and now look at him.

A Few Moments Later:

Rita had tears trickling down her face, as Dixie lead her into the building, as Zoe, Connie, Ethan, Cal and Max pushed Iain into the hospital.

Rita and Dixie unfortunately were not allowed into Resus because Iain was in there, so Dixie lead Rita to her office

Sitting down Dixie made them both a coffee.

"What happened Rita?" asked Dixie utterly confused at the entire situation.

"I told him I was pregnant, and he stood there silent and shocked, and then I started to tell that if he didn't want to," started Rita sobbing.

"What happened after that?" Dixie prodded gently knowing that her friend was on the brink of a mental breakdown.

"He remained silent and still…. and looking somewhat scared, and then I backed away, and the car came, and he pushed me out the way and well… it him," Rita said through her tears.

"It'll be ok Rita, Iain's strong, and he saved you, it shows he cares," comforted Dixie hugging her friend tightly, worried for Iain, but more for Rita if he wasn't to make it.

 _ **Authors Note:**_ __ _ **Ok, hope you enjoyed that chapter, Rita is seemingly in a bit of state, what will they do next? New Chapter Up ASAP, it's already half written, please review any suggestions, thx. ~TheWolfyReality~**_


	5. Chapter 5

**_Authors Note:_** ** _Ok hope you enjoy, please read and review ~TheWolfyReality~_**

 ** _Chapter Five:_**

Rita had fallen unconscious just from the sheer stress, and the lack of sleep she was currently suffering from, and being pregnant as well, well it certainly didn't help.

When she finally rose, Dixie and Zoe were sat discussing paperwork.

"How is he?" Rita suddenly asked, the words flying out of her mouth before she could even register she'd thought about it.

"Rita," started Zoe her voice steady.

"What? No, he's not dead," countered Rita the worst case scenario flying into her head.

"No, he's not dead," Dixie shot back quickly earning herself a shut up for a minute glare of Zoe.

"The blow to the head was bad Rita, he's still fighting, but it's bad," replied Zoe.

"Don't sugar coat it Zoe, I want to know," replied Rita.

"Rita I don't know, Connie's in charge of it," replied Zoe.

"Then I'm going to find out," replied Rita standing up.

"Rita," started Zoe.

"No Zoe, I want to know, Dixie? You coming?" asked Rita turning to her other friend.

"Of course," relied Dixie as the three women walked towards the ED.

"Connie," called Zoe.

Connie stopped, turning around found herself faced with three extremely anxious, worried women.

"Rita, don't ask, you don't want to know," stated Charlie as he walked over.

"NO, I do want to know," replied Rita firmly.

"Rita," started Charlie trying to convince her against it.

"Connie, I want to know it all," repeated Rita.

"Fine," stated Connie, picking up her clip board.

"We called a level four trauma; he has suffered several lacerations along the left side, severe abrasions lining the right hand side of his face, presumably where he landed on the tarmac, several fractures to the left side of his rib cage," started Connie only to be interrupted mid-way through.

"That doesn't cause need for a level four trauma," Rita countered.

"If you would just learn some patience, I was getting to that part," replied Connie with a displeased look across her face.

Rita only nodded in response, as an indication for her to continue.

"His head injuries were severe, the CT scan he sustained a Epidermal Hematoma, and we have also been led to believe that he has also most likely sustained a Diffuse Axonal Injury which has outed in a long standing coma," replied Connie to which Dixie and Rita both gasped.

"We are unsure, waiting on him to awake as to whether or not he has sprained his neck and back, CT scan turned up clear, and he has been registered as a GCS of 5," replied Connie.

"Oh my god, this is all my fault," sobbed Rita.

"Hey, it's not Rita, you didn't make him jump in front of that car," replied Zoe hugging her.

"No, but he pushed me out of the way, if I hadn't of been there in the first place, her wouldn't have had too," replied Rita.

"And then this would have been you," countered Dixie.

"And we'd be dealing with a dead patient," stated Connie making everyone turn in shock to glare at her.

"Why?" Rita asked confused?

"Because scientifically, the damage done to his head should have killed him, his body strength and muscle mass is phenomenal which has helped, but the main difference would be the fact that his body is used to the injuries, which we have put down to the 10 years in combat as a corporal in Afghan," replied Connie.

"10 years?" asked Zoe shocked?

"Wait, he didn't tell you?" asked Connie?

"He told you?" asked Dixie surprised?

"No, Guy gives sit reps on every member of staff, so he told none of you?" asked Connie surprised.

"He doesn't like talking about it," said Rita and Dixie at the same time.

"Can you blame him?" asked Charlie thinking about horrible it must be?

"He probably couldn't," replied Connie pondering over his reasons.

"What do you mean?" asked Zoe confused?

"After he was awarded with his Operational Service Medal for Afghanistan, a Military cross, a George medal, and in resolute to his father's death, an Elizabeth cross, he was diagnosed with a severe case of PTSD," replied Connie reading off a military report.

"So his PTSD could return again?" asked Dixie?

"PTSD never goes away, it's a constant thing, the subject of the disorder just learns to control it, or find a way to forget about it, so there is a good chance that the pain, the idea of unconsciousness and a coma could send him back to where he was 2 years ago," replied Connie.

"What do we know of previous injuries? Any the same as the current?" asked Zoe worriedly?

"I have his military records on the way, but due to the fact that Iain has no next of kin, no parents and no known family, we've had to do it through Guy Self," replied Connie.

"What happened to his family?" asked Dixie horrified?

"His father died in the war, his mother was murdered, and his younger brother was proclaimed missing, at the age of 16, Iain would have been 18," replied Connie.

"Is that why he joined the army?" asked Dixie?

"I don't know that, you'll have to ask him," replied Connie.

"Murdered? Murdered by whom?" asked Zoe horrified?

Connie glanced at her cautiously before tapping a few times on her screen and continuing her explanation.

"Jenifer Elizabeth Dean was murdered on the 16th may 2001, three days before her youngest son's birthday, Richard Steven Grison 46 years old brutally murdered his wife, was sent for life + eight years in prison for murder, and the abuse of his eldest step son, Iain Edward Dean," replied Connie.

"God he had one hell of a childhood," stated Zoe looking sorry for him.

"How did we not know any of this?" asked Dixie firmly?

"He didn't say anything, and even if he had I wouldn't have been able to say anything, as it isn't my place to do so, but wouldn't you have kept all of that a secret if it had been you in his place?" asked Connie sternly, knowing that she 100% definitely would have done.

 _ **Authors Note:**_ _ **Please leave any comments in a review, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I want your guys opinions, not saying that I will 100% do what you say, but should Iain live or die? or should he perhaps die later? Should he recover first, we want him to meet his child right?**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Authors Note:**_ _ **Ok Here's chapter six, thanks for some amazing reviews, as a response to some questions I have had in both PM's and Reviews, I will not be leaking any spoilers what so ever, as to whether or not Iain will make a full recovery, I have the story planned so far up to where Rita will give birth, whether or not that baby is male or female, and the choice of names I am yet to decide, of course any fiction I write usually goes off on a tangent, so the plot line and sub plots may be of course to change, anyway enough waffling, here's the chapter, I hope you Enjoy:**_

 _ **Chapter Six:**_

 ** _Chapter Six:_**

"Well I guess so, but still, you'd think he'd have told us," countered Dixie.

"It was his decision, to make, no one else's, and he chose not to live with it hanging around his shoulders, because that's a weight you wouldn't want to carry," replied Connie.

"So he has no family?" asked Zoe feeling sorry for him?

"No, no one that we know of anyway," replied Connie.

"And we would appreciate it, if none of you informed him that you now know what you do," replied Connie.

"What? Why?" asked Dixie?

"You're asking us to lie to him?" snapped Rita.

"Because as we have informed you, he will possibly be suffering severe PTSD when does awake, we would like you to leave it to him, in his own time to tell you what we have just done, don't make him think he can't trust you by letting him believe you went behind his back to find this out," explained Connie.

"I guess that makes sense," replied Dixie thinking the logic through.

"Can we see him?" asked Rita hoping that they could.

"Yes I suppose," replied Connie only to be interrupted by Charlie.

"No, don't, Rita, he doesn't look so good, I think you should wait until he's recovered a bit more," prompted Charlie.

"No, I want to see him," replied Rita her voice firm, but inside her emotions were cracking her, slowly tearing her apart from the inside.

"Rita," Charlie began.

"No Charlie, I want to see him," replied Rita glaring at him.

Charlie raised his hands in surrender, before spinning on one heel and heading towards the staffroom.

"Ok this way then," stated Connie, showing no emotion what so ever as they headed towards resus.

Rita stopped at the entrance. Her heart beating rapidly and her breath unsteady.

Zoe noticing her friend's reluctance stopped her.

"Are you sure?" Zoe asked with a concerned look?

"Yes I am sure," Rita shot back, before walking into resus without a look back. Connie led them behind blue curtains, and got a gasp from all three of the women.

"When will he wake?" asked Dixie hoping that they would have a good estimate, or at least a guesstimate.

"No idea, too soon to tell," replied Connie.

"But he will wake right?" asked Zoe, knowing that getting told no, or not necessarily would crush her friend.

"We don't know, he is strong, and is fighting it, so he should be ok, but as with all had trauma patients, we don't know, because every brain acts differently too these type of injuries.

Rita had moved to sit down; staring at his still, pale body, as he lay there somewhat peacefully although she knew that was only the medication.

"Well I will be in my office if you need me," replied Connie walking off in the direction of her office.

"Rita, he'll be ok," reassures Zoe.

"How do you know?" she asks tearfully.

"Because this is Iain were talking about," states Dixie not knowing what else Zoe could have said.

"And he's the most stubborn person I have ever met," continued Dixie trying to think of something else to say.

"And he's a fighter, as Connie said," interrupts Zoe smiling at her friend.

"But we don't know that," replied Rita reaching for his hand.

"I have to go back, my shift started 5 minutes ago, I'm sorry," apologises Zoe before leaving quietly.

"Rita, he will be ok you know, he's strong, and healthy, and he loves you Rita, he wouldn't leave you or his child," replied Dixie.

"I know," she gulps through her tears.

"Look Rita, my shift starts in 5 to," starts Dixie.

"Just go, he wouldn't want you to miss saving lives," replied Rita smiling weakly up at her friend.

"What Would Iain do, hey? Well he certainly wouldn't want you moping around like this, not that its without good reason I know, but still Rita, getting yourself worked up like this, isn't good for you, him or the baby," replied Dixie.

"I know, I know, just give me a minute," replied Rita.

"Sure thing, I'll be down at the depo if you need me," she replied walking out of resus quietly.

Two Days had passed since the crash and Iain wasn't looking so good, they had said that his health was decreasing and that the odds at the moment were against him, and Rita just wasn't coping.

She had broken down in Zoe's office as Zoe attempted to console her.

"I can't do it Zoe, I just can't," Rita cried.

"Can't do what Rita?" asked Zoe confused?

"I can't have his baby without him, what if it grows up to look just like him, act like him, what happens when it asks about its dad, I can't deal with that Zoe," sobbed Rita.

"Yes you can Rita; just think this may be all you have left of him, you can't get rid of it, and imagine if he does make it, and everything's alright, you killed his child, for some reason, I'm not so sure he'd be ok with that," replied Zoe.

"I guess, but I'm not exactly going to be a great mother am I?" asked Rita sadly?

"How do you know, and you can always take a baby class with Dixie, last I checked she was an expert," laughed Zoe trying to lighten the mood.

 _ **Authors Note:**_ ** _Sorry this is a rather short chapter, but I'm mainly just creating short fillers to set the scene, I promise drama will happen soon, even if I have to write a "2 Weeks Later" Which I hate doing. Never the less, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, Please review, thank you ~TheWolfyReality~_**


	7. Chapter 7

_**Authors Note:**_ _ **Ok, here's an extremely short chapter, my apologies but I had to do it, I had put out this chapter, and I wanted to end it the way I have done, so here yah go, this is Chapter Seven.**_

 ** _Chapter Seven:_**

Zoe's wedding was coming up, and Zoe had asked her ages ago to be one of her bridesmaids, Zoe still wanted Rita to do it; seeing it as a way to get her friend away from the hospital and her mind of her unconscious boyfriend.

Rita had been by Iain's side all week, she just wanted him to wake up, and she would do anything for him to do so. She missed him, she missed his arrogant humour. His smile, the way he tried to lighten any situation. She tried imagining how he'd try and light up the current situation, but it just didn't work, all it did was make her miss him even more; if that was humanly possible.

She was holding his hand as she broke down once again for the hundredth time that week, apologising once again, for something that wasn't really her fault, he was the one that made the decision to push her out the way, to put himself in harm's way in an attempt to protect her, and his unborn child. Rita knew that if it had been her, then her unborn child would most likely not have made it, and according to Connie; she wouldn't have either. It was 3pm and Rita had been sat by his side for the last two hours and a half.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Iain," she sobbed, her tears cascading down her cheeks.

"S'not your fault," he gasped struggling for breath, the monitors beeping rapidly.

"Iain, you're awake?" gasped Rita shocked, but her voice obviously relieved. He was awake, that meant that there was a good chance that he would survive, that he was going to be ok. But then she remembered the PTSD, the side effects of a brain injury this severe. He might not be the same. Of course he would be the same she kept telling herself, no matter how hurt he was, he would always be Iain Dean, and he would always be loved by the people at Holby ED.

"You're ok right?" Iain asked her trying to move his head.

 _ **Authors Note:**_ __ _ **Ok, so I had to leave it like that, he's alive, hope that's what you all wanted, maybe there may be some more complications, not decided yet, but yeah, he woke up from a coma and the first thing he says is "You're ok right?" well second thing if you count the "S'not your fault," line. anyway hope you enjoyed, chapter Eight will be out at usual within the next 24 hours as long as I have no complications with that. Thank You ~TheWolfyReality~**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Authors Note:**_ _ **ok hope you enjoy this chapter please read note at the end after, thank you.**_

 ** _Chapter Eight:_**

"I'm fine," she replied looking short of words.

"I… I… didn't mean it," started Iain beginning to panic, the machines began to beep wildly as Iain's heart rate increased, and he began to meltdown. Which Rita knew wasn't good with his injuries.

"Iain I know you didn't, just calm down ok, please you need to be ok Iain," Rita pleaded tears brimmed her eyes.

"Ok, I'll calm down," he replied. "Don't get upset please, I'm ok, I promise you," started Iain as Ethan and Charlie appeared.

"But you're not ok, you're not ok Iain," started Rita tears dripping down her cheeks.

"Don't cry; please don't cry, I don't understand, I'm ok?" Iain replied utterly confused.

"Ok sir, were just going to ask a few questions which we need you to answer so we can work out your current injuries sir," started Ethan.

Iain just looked baffled at him, why was he calling him sir, not simply Iain.

"Can you tell us your full name sir," addressed Ethan carefully.

Iain looked sceptically back at him, did they seriously think that he'd lost his memory.

"Your full name is what?" asked Charlie in a serious tone.

"Iain Edward Dean," replied Iain staring at Charlie as if he was something from another planet.

"Ok, well were going to need to take some tests, but your memory seems to be fine," replied Ethan.

"From one question, your seriously going to judge my memory off one question?" asked Iain confused.

"Well Iain, can you tell us the current prime minister and the month?" asked Ethan.

"David Cameron, and its June 27th," replied Iain sounding so confident.

"Ok, Iain, the date is the 7th of July, you have been unconscious for 10 days," started Ethan.

"I've been what?" asked Iain gobsmacked?

"Ok Iain, I'm just going to get Dr Beauchamp, as you are her patient," replied Ethan disappearing.

"What do you mean unconscious? 10 days? I've been out cold for 10 days? Are you sure?" asked Iain looking totally shocked.

"Yes Iain, you've been in a coma for the last 10 days," repeated Connie walking in.

"But…" he started before not knowing what to say.

"Ok Iain, can you tell me the last thing you remember, I need you tell me everything leading up to the crash," stated Connie.

Iain seemed to think for a while before finally answering.

"I was talking to Rita, and then she backed away, and I saw the car, and I pushed her out the way, but I forgot to get out of the way myself," replied Iain feeling quite stupid with himself for forgetting that vital part.

"Ok, so your memory seems to be fine, can you talk to me about the pain?" asked Connie in her doctor voice, well did she ever use anything else?  
"It's unbearable, it's just painful," replied Iain.

"Ok, well we can increase your morphine levels if you want us to, but it may slow down your recovery," replied Connie indicating for Ethan to increase the morphine.

"NO," Iain suddenly snapped.

"What?" asked Connie confused, didn't he want the pain relief?

"I don't want it, I want to be out of her as soon as possible, I can deal with the pain," replied Iain resting his head back against the bed.

"Are you sure?" asked Connie, wanting to make sure that he was in fact going to be ok.

"I have had worse," came the simple response.

"Very well," replied Connie.

"What's the sit rep?" asked Iain?

As Connie explained his injuries once again to a shocked Iain Dean, Rita felt herself fade, at the thought that she hadn't lost him, he was going to be ok, they were going to get through this, slowly, but they would, she wouldn't lose him. She wouldn't let him go.

 _ **IMPORTANT Authors Note:**_

 _ **My apologies to all readers, I have**_ _ **unfortunately**_ _ **decided to suspend this fiction for a while, with my GCSE's coming up, and revision to do, I need to focus on other things, I will still be watching the episode of a casualty a week to see how their relationship advances. I may be posting fictions I have already written, I just have to stop writing for a while. Thank You For your Patience. And I will update this eventually, I haven't scrapped it. TY. ~TheWolfyReality~**_


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